


Zing

by biinarysttars



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Alien Biology, Alien Character(s), Alien Technology, Aliens, Amnesia, And what I want is to pretend like I'm 11 again, Headcanon, I did work really hard on this though so please read it, I promise it's actually good, Original Character(s), Original Character-centric, i can do what i want
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-22
Updated: 2019-09-29
Packaged: 2020-09-24 06:24:46
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 8
Words: 18,209
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20353876
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/biinarysttars/pseuds/biinarysttars
Summary: A young Irken falls to Earth, from somewhere, and for some reason. With her PAK damaged, she is unable to remember anything about herself or her culture. All she has is one useless human meat slab, and hands familiar enough with machinery to be able to fix it. It's hard to access tools when you're under constant supervision, though.





	1. The Earth, the Sky, and the Human Home

**Author's Note:**

> Summary: An Irken falls from the sky. Her damaged PAK keeps her from remembering who she is, and the human that captured her after her descent is of no help. However, a certain someone else seems to have a very good idea of who she is.

Shooting stars dart quickly around the sky. A rare sight, an odd phenomenon, but so beautiful all the same. Families spread themselves out around on the ground in parks, gathered for a raining sky celebration. Children that had once been screaming and darting around between (and sometimes through) parents and strangers alike all stopped, stared, and sat when the show began. As the night went on, more and more of the country stilled and quieted. Despite all the eyes fixed on the sky, the whole world sorrowfully missed the unique shooting star barreling down from space and directly towards a certain town.

The whole world except for one.

Dib Membrane had his eyes fixed on the sky for a very different reason. He'd seen more amazing things out in space itself-- though, he supposed, he hadn't had the chance to relish in it. He wasn't going to start then, though.

He kept his eyes fixed on the sky, only diverting his gaze to check the excessive amount of monitors he kept on the far wall of his room; the walls monitoring his alien nemesis. So far: nothing. The only thing that had happened all night was the tiny blue-eyed robot walking outside the house, pointing at the sky, and saying "ooooooh" and rose it in pitch until it became a scream. It then turned around and marched back inside as though nothing had happened. 

That's when he saw it: an electric blue light flying towards the surface of the Earth. A sight even more beautiful than the rest of the stars, and much more strange. Dib didn't hesitate before he ran out of the house, and watched the light fall with a thud that resounded through the suburbs, shaking the ground even from that distance.

Dib ran out into the night, passing down streets and turning corners until he found the source of the light. 

In a crater formed in the middle of the empty road, there was a small ball of something. Dib slid down the side, and only when he got really close did the dark teal and pale green become a shape: an Irken lifeform. 

Its large eyes were clenched shut, muscles pulling in some desperate attempt to stand. A bright blue ball around it crackled to life for just a moment before dissipating. The pathetically small figure couldn't even pull itself up on its spideresque legs; when it tried, it simply crumpled to the ground at Dib's feet. It peeked one tired eye open at him-- perhaps in fear, or contempt, or even as a plea-- before it shut completely and the body went still.

This Irken was definitely smaller than Dib, and by quite a lot. He was unsure of how age and size corresponded in their biology, but he figured it was safe to say that this was one of their young. Underdeveloped, at the very least. Though its antennae were crumpled, they were much longer than Zim's. They curled up at the bottom, with a small circle floating in the middle, somehow. The outfit was in complete shambles, but Dib noticed that somehow, the gloves it was wearing remained completely intact.

When Dib initially leaned down to pick it up, his hand brushed against an open wound and the Irken flinched. He tried again, and this time, the alien was as still as death. Once it was properly in his arms, he could feel the soft rise and fall of its chest. Reassured, he carried it home, this time walking.

The whole walk home was filled to the brim with _excitement_. He was ready to expose this _alien_, receive praise and fame beyond his wildest dreams... he was ready to unlock the secrets of this alien race. He was going to be the cause of this huge discovery-- a link between Earth and the universe around it. People wouldn't ignore him when he pointed at Zim anymore, either. He'd get his nemesis out of the way at the same time, all in one fell swoop. Maybe he should head over and let him know his days were numbered... the weight in his arms, growing heavier by the footstep, advised him to save that for later. 

When he got home initially, he had nowhere to put the alien. After a moment of debate, he resolved to lay it on his bed until he could set up his table, which was complete with restraints to keep it from escaping or fighting back. Once the table was set up, he strapped the alien in.

Stretched out and in the light, he finally saw just how injured it was.

Its head was relatively unharmed-- there were a few cuts on the back of it, but its face was rather clean. The right side of its sleeve was burned, and some of the skin was rather severely burned, as well. The front of its torso was ripped a bit, but it looked better than the rest of the body. Dib figured that if it had been curled up, its back would look torn up, but there was no way of telling without taking off the restraints. But the alien could be waking up at any moment, so he should just sit... and wait... 

Dib awoke the next morning to a soft groaning, followed by a small rattling sound. He snapped his head up to see. 

The tiny Irken on the table wriggled very slightly, weakly trying to escape its restraints. Its eyes opened and it turned its head, cautiously taking in its new environment. When it turned to see Dib, wide-eyed excited and wearing a grin that split his face in two, it realized that it was not at home.

"Hey, there," he greeted quietly. "Don't worry, you're safe... for now."

The Irken said nothing, instead favouring to wriggle a little harder against its restraints at the threat. Every motion hurt, but if it could just get out, maybe it could make a break for it. Of course, its wriggling was to no avail.

Dib took note of the way it moved-- and the way it was still hurt. Zim had a very high metabolism and always seemed to heal instantly, so why did this one still have open wounds?

"I'm not going to hurt you," he said. "The scientists I've already called to examine you? Maybe not so much."

"Who..." The alien's voice was rasped, although distinctly feminine. Dib wrote that down. "...Are you?"

"You don't need to know that," he replied, and patted the alien's head. 

She frowned at that gesture. How _dare _he? What kind of insolent, terrible little ape creature dare touch her in that way? 

"Who are you?" she repeated, this time sounding decidedly more authoritative. 

Dib didn't answer. 

"Who are you?!"

When she received no answer once again, she began repeating the words in a yell. She wriggled in her restraints, more violently than before, but she ignored the shots of pain shooting up from even her feet. 

Dib let this go on for several minutes, and he stood to get ready for the day, but she was relentless. The only respite he got from her screaming was when she paused to take a deep breath.

"Okay, okay, enough!" he yelled over her. "I am the saviour of the Earth, the intergalactic keeper of peace, the-"

"Your name, dipface," she snarled.

He hesitated for a moment. Was it really a good idea to give out his name to this specimen?

"Well?" She made a tapping motion with her foot. "I can just start yelling again."

"No, no," he chided. He decided in that split second that it didn't really matter; Zim learned his name maybe three seconds after they saw each other the first time. "It's Dib." 

"Dib," she repeated. "That's a weird name." 

"Well, what's yours?" he snapped.

"Ha! Testy, much?" She smirked. "I am..."

Her confident demeanor slipped in an instant. She racked her brain, but came up short-- she couldn't remember her own name. She brought it back a bit farther, and realized she didn't know anything. Where did she come from? Why was she there? A bolt of panic rushed through her when she realized that her whole life was one big, black space in her mind.

"...I don't know."

"You don't... know?" 

"Pay attention when I speak, will you? What did I _just_ say?" She shook at her restraints again. "I need... I need to get to my PAK."

"Your... oh, you mean the thing on your back?"

_"Yes,_ the thing on my back. It's crucial to my wellbeing. It must be malfunctioning, or damaged... I haven't healed, so something must be wrong with it. I need to check it. I need to get out of this..." 

"Oh, no _way," _Dib said. "I'm not falling for that! I'm not going to let you out just so you can... uh, enact your evil plans!"

"...Evil plans," she repeated. She paused for a moment, giving Dib the opportunity to clarify, but he did not. "Who do you think I am? What kind of-_ evil plans? _What does that even mean? That's so ridiculous, I can't even think of anything to say, but it's so _stupid, _I can't even laugh at you. Now, let me out."

The restraints snapped open. The Irken sat up in an instant, and stretched. When her spine cracked, she let out a small cry of pain.

"Hey, wait!" 

There was nothing Dib could do, though. When he reached out to try and grab her, she swiftly leaned away. She bit her lip in pain, but leaned away all the same.

"Stop that," she ordered. She swung her legs over the side of the table, and shoved Dib away. "I'll do what you want-- I just want to fix my PAK. Okay? You can watch me the _whole _time."

Dib considered her offer. She made no move to take her PAK off, so she was waiting for his say so. It would certainly be an interesting thing to study...

"Only if you tell me what you're doing."

"Fine, whatever."

The Irken pulled her PAK off slowly, explaining that it was a bit of a process because the PAK was in charge of controlling her organs-- if it was done too rashly, her body wouldn't adapt to being self-reliant and she would die within a few minutes. She explained that the three circles on the PAK held three different contents. The circle at the top was in charge of personality and job; the one on the left was data-- like a more in-depth long-term memory; the one on the right was in charge of biological functions. The entire bottom of the PAK was cracked-- a more apt description for the left side would be "shattered, barely keeping together"-- but fortunately, the top circle was still in perfect shape. She popped it open just to make sure, and pressed down all its contents to make sure none of them were loose (they weren't).

Then she flipped open the biological circle, very delicately.

"Oh, that's not so bad," she remarked.

"What?" Dib asked.

"A few things got disconnected, is all," she replied. She worked on fixing it as she continued. "The damage is mostly external." 

Dib watched her work. It was all very fine, but the Irken had small fingers that were a perfect fit for this sort of thing. A few sparks flew, but soon, she removed her hands and examined her work.

"This won't take effect until I put the PAK back on," she explained.

Dib nodded. 

The Irken delicately adjusted the PAK's position in her lap to flip open the final circle. Her mouth fell open when she looked inside, and she was only able to suck in a small breath. It was awful; the worst thing she had ever seen in her life.

"What?" Dib asked. He moved closer, and jostled her arm. 

"Don't move!" she yelled. She clutched her PAK with one hand; the hand resting on the other side of the device. "Don't..."

She could help but stare. Everything was... a disaster. The chips were shattered-- everything about her species she'd learned at birth, everything about her life that had been backed up electronically... it was all in shards. Her normally steady hand was shaking. She sucked in a deep breath.

"Do you have a work table somewhere?" she murmured. She felt disconnected. She was staring the broken wreckage of her life right in the face.

"Oh, no, you're not going anywhere," Dib said. He extended his arms in a defensive position.

The way she looked at him was so... sad. It was sadder than when she looked up at him in the crater. She looked like she saw something truly awful, but Dib didn't understand how she could be so upset over a bunch of broken machinery.

"I don't even know your name!" he exclaimed. 

"I don't know it either!" she snapped. "I don't know anything about myself! Or where I'm from, or what I am!"

The silence that fell between them was heavy.

When Dib looked more closely at her, he really noticed how small she was. Smaller than him, smaller than Zim, even. A child. This was a child. At least as young as him, or so she seemed, and she was in a strange, new place, and she was scared and hurt. Compassion grew like a parasite in his chest until he couldn't take it anymore. 

"Fine! What's the problem?"

"Everything's... broken," she answered. She motioned for him to move closer, and he did. He hopped up beside her on the table. "This was the memory chip that was installed at my birth. It contains the entirety of my people's history. Then, this other one, it was... more of a recording device, and it captured my entire life. Everything I saw and heard, said and did..."

"How do you know all that?" Dib questioned. "If this is everything you know, and it's all broken-"

"It's not everything I know," she interrupted. "It's everything that was backed up electronically. There are still some things I know in my brain tubes."

"Not your name, though."

"Apparently not."

"Then what's in there?"

"Uh... machines, mostly. I'm good with machines. Building them, fixing them, coding them... the works. If I can get to a work table, maybe I can salvage something." 

Dib considered... no! No, no, no, he considered nothing. This alien was to stay in his room at all costs, and was also never to leave his sight. She would stay there until he heard back from... well, at least _one _of the many places he'd contacted just after he brought her home, but before he set up his table.

"...I'm going to clean this out, see what I can fix with my hands." The Irken realized rather quickly that Dib's silence was indicative that she wasn't going anywhere. 

She dumped the loose contents onto the work table, and hopped off. While she fiddled with her PAK, Dib took note of her actions thus far. She was... strangely agreeable, compared to the other Irkens he'd met before. He thought that maybe, if she hadn't been injured, she wouldn't have tried so hard to get out of her restraints... he then dismissed that thought, since she could be trying to manipulate him. Still, though... there was something off about this new Irken invader that had come to visit this planet.

* * *

"GIR!" Zim yelled. The little robot was running around the room, knocking various nefarious things over and causing mayhem. "GIR! Stop it! I'm trying to watch the Dib-human!"

"But... but the eleph-"

_"Outside, _GIR," he sighed. "You can play with your _toy _outside the base." 

GIR paused, considering. He narrowed his eyes, tapped his hand against his chin...

"Okey dokey!" 

He bolted towards the elevator.

"Finally..." 

In solitude for the first time in four days, Zim kept his eyes fixed on one of the many monitors he had hooked up to cameras in Dib's house. The one in particular he was staring at was the one in his bedroom-- something _incredibly _interesting was happening. Zim had to stare hard at the screen; he wanted to make sure there was no doubt in his mind before he acted.

The Irken figure in Dib's bedroom-- her stature, her voice, her mechanical prowess... it all lined up with Irk's Tobe.

But how could she have left the Armada? _Why_ would she? That was the grandest place to be in all the Empire. Was she sent to Earth to check on him? Should he be preparing something big for her? A ball of anxiety clenched itself in his belly. Something was terribly wrong-- he could feel it in his feet.

He should call the Tallest and straighten everything out.


	2. The Stupid Plan, the Awkward Dinner, and the Portmanteau

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Zim decides to kidnap the Tobe, and thinks that will go well. To be fair, he doesn't know she's got amnesia, but is kidnapping ever really a good idea? The Membranes, on their way to a family dinner, catch him before he can even get in the house. The Tobe realizes her PAK is more damaged than she thought.

The Tallest put off taking Zim's call for three hours. They had other things to worry about, and, as fun as messing with him was, they weren't in the mood to deal with him. Unfortunately, he was relentless, and it at a certain point, unignorable.

"My Tallest! Thank you for this opportunity! It's a shame you couldn't make it here yourselves, but I promise that I will do my best to impress-"

"Zim, we don't have time for this right now," Red interrupted. "Do you need something from us?"

"Yes."

"What is it?" Purple sighed.

"To thank you for this-"

"Okay, bye, Zim!"

Zim paused for a moment after he'd been hung up on.

"That went well."

He clapped his hands together like he was wiping dust off of his gloves (when in reality there was none, since he hadn't accomplished much that day. Or at all), and switched the screen back to the Dib's room.

Dib and the Tobe were silent. She was still hunched over the table fiddling with her PAK, while Dib was on his computer. Upon squinting, Zim realized that Dib was writing an e-mail to some paranormal investigator. He wanted to roll his eyes at first, but it dawned on him that the Tobe falling into the hands of some human scientist-- that would no doubt rip her apart, extract her organs, and perform painful experiments on her-- would probably be very, very bad for him.

Awful scenarios ran through his mind-- re-encoding, exile, execution-- and the end result, he decided, was that he had to protect her at all costs. It was quite the plan-- he was more used to scheming planetary domination, not something so passive and centered on one person (that wasn't himself). The only thing he could think that would assure her safety was to ensure that she was inside his base. 

He turned up the volume on the monitor just in time for Gak's voice to ring out. Gaz. Whatever his human-sister's name was. Who cared? Zim sure didn't.

"Dib! We're going out for dinner!" she yelled.

"Coming!" Dib responded. He turned back to the Tobe. "You... stay here. Don't go anywhere."

"I don't have anywhere to go," she replied. "That I know of."

"Oh, yes, you do," Zim murmured, a wicked grin crossing his face.

Zim tapped the console twice with his fingers, before running upstairs. Up-elevator. He didn't have stairs. He also didn't run, since he didn't have stairs.

Zim ran to the elevator, and stood, motionless, while it carried him up to the ground floor of his base. Once there, and at his front door, he extended his arms, and robotic hands came from the walls and ceiling and bestowed upon him his human disguise. Once suited up, he darted outside.

It was a cool evening. It had been raining earlier, Zim supposed, as he dodged puddles while he ran as fast as his tiny little legs could carry him; as such, the sky was a pretty pink colour while the sun set. Dib's house wasn't very far, but it was just far enough for him to be ever-so-slightly out of breath by the time he arrived.

He hid behind a streetlight once the house was in sight. He watched the Membranes pile into a car, and when he heard the door slam, he scurried over.

Unfortunately, it was far too early to have done that.

"Dib, did you invite your little green friend to join us for dinner?" Professor Membrane questioned.

"Uh..."

_No, _was the answer Dib thought might result in his alien's kidnapping. So instead, he said,

"Yeah! Yeah, I invited Zim. Hope that's alright with everybody."

Gaz grumbled something angrily under her breath. Something about just wanting one night that wasn't ruined by Dib's... self. Their father either didn't hear it or chose to ignore it, as he continued:

"Well, invite him in, quickly."

Dib opened the door, and before Zim could move or say anything in protest, yanked him into the car by his collar. Zim made a nasty choking sound, and once released, coughed.

"Gross, cover that with your arm," Gaz shot, glaring up from her game with one eye.

"Dib!" he shouted. "How _dare _you abduct Zim into your-"

"Please save your yelling for the restaurant," Membrane interrupted. "This space is far too small to be screaming in."

Zim quieted, miraculously, but glared intensely at Dib the entire ride to the restaurant. He plotted exactly what he was going to say when they exited the vehicle, but it all flew out the window, so to speak, when he was finally released from the tiny human car device.

Membrane and Gaz stepped ahead of them, and Zim grabbed Dib's wrist. He squeezed very tightly, and leaned in so close he could feel Dib's disgusting, damp human breath on his face.

"Do you realize who it is you have locked up?" he hissed.

"What, you scared you're gonna be exposed, Zim?" Dib retorted, and pushed Zim's face away. "After they come for her, they'll come for you, too."

This threat had no impact.

"You have no _idea _what you're doing, human. You have no idea with which forces you toy. The Tobe is not some regular Irken you can do whatever you wish with."

"The... tobe?"

"Not _tobe, _ignorant meatslab, _Tobe. _To. Be."

"What does that even mean?"

"Hey, are you two coming or what?!" Gaz yelled from the restaurant entrance.

Zim threw Dib's wrist down, giving him one final glare before the pair of them headed towards the restaurant.

Clearly, the Irken that Dib had imprisoned in his bedroom was of importance. She was important enough that Zim didn't want to go yelling about the details-- or at least, not in a public place. What was she? She wasn't their ruler, since he knew that Zim's rulers were the "Tallest". She was absolutely _not _the Tallest, and for that matter, despite the fact that she spent most of her time moping over her backpack thingy, she seemed distinctly too young to be a ruler.

Dib and Zim eyed each other through the whole ordering process. Dib wanted _so badly _to know what was on Zim's mind, and the only thing keeping him from asking was the opportunity to bond with his father. If he acted melodramatic in public, he could picture exactly the tone of voice and the look Zim would have as he denied knowing what Dib was talking about. Then the cycle would commence-- Dib, in his frustrated desperation, would only push harder. Gaz would make some comment. Dib would make it physical. Dinner ruined.

But if he _won _the physical fight-- ripped that wig off Zim's head, pulled out the contact lenses...

No, no. He just had to sit and keep his cool. Zim was no longer a priority now that he had the "Tobe" or whatever. Zim would go down, no matter how annoying he was, but Dib just had to make it through this one dinner. Then everything would fall into place much like a set of dominoes might.

While Dib was fighting back a violent outburst, Zim was carefully calculating his next move. He had to get the Tobe out of Dib's house, and safely in his base where she could observe him more closely, or otherwise do what she was on Earth to do. He was certain it had something to do with him. Why wouldn't it? He was Zim.

He could do something at Skool the next day. While Dib was sitting in class, he could ditch and capture her. Though, there was no guarantee that she would remain in his house through this dinner-- she might be gone by the time it was over. Zim flicked his eyes up to a clock that just so happened to be within his field of vision. He tapped a finger anxiously against the table. What if she was gone? What if she was on her way to his base as he sat there, not eating dinner with a human family? What if she got there, and he wasn't home to greet her?

"Well, this was a great dinner-"

"Great, then I'm sure you won't mind sticking around." Dib had noticed Zim's worried finger rat-a-tat-ing, and he was going to enjoy every second of his misery.

"I really have to go," Zim continued.

"Why don't you stay?" Dib asked. Zim saw right through this innocent act and did not care for it.

"...There is an emergency at home that I must attend to!" With that, he pulled out a communications device from his PAK, and yelled for GIR to pick him up. He'd be there in a matter of minutes, and he did not care that people had turned to stare at him.

* * *

The Irken in Dib's room finally stopped playing with her PAK. She'd gotten most of the puzzle of her memories chip figured out, but with her PAK off, she'd been relying on her body's natural processes and was beginning to feel weary.

When she put it back on, though, the feeling didn't fade. Her eyelids still felt heavy, and she didn't feel as though she could keep standing. Worry flared in her stomach for just a moment, but she didn't feel up to dealing with that emotion. She slowly stepped towards Dib's bed, and sat on it. She sank into the mattress, and it felt so much better than the not-sitting she'd been doing all day.

When she did, she noticed that her wounds healed up right away. This was a good sign-- she did not care for the pain it took to make simple movements, and was glad it was gone. Despite this, she pulled off her PAK again.

She checked in the biological functions circle. The surface work she'd done still looked fine, but it was possible that something beneath the surface had been affected even if all that was the matter on the outside was a few unplugged cords. She pulled at them, disconnected a few things, and realized that the nutrient transmission portion was damaged, meaning that she wasn't receiving the crucial nutrients her PAK would normally provide her with. When she strapped back in, she wasn't going to regain any energy.

"Oh, that seems bad..." she murmured to herself.

She felt too tired to deal with that problem. It was a strange, heavy, and unwelcome feeling that sank like a weight into her whole body. A flicker of frustration jolted down her spine, but it was gone as quickly as it came.

She put everything back to normal, and then put her PAK back on. With a sigh, she flopped backwards onto the bed. What even was a bed? She didn't know its purpose, nor the word. It was like a very comfortable body-chair, she thought. As time went on, her breathing began to slow, and she let her eyes slide closed.

The world, now dark, was limited only to what she was feeling physically. She felt her body heat soak through her clothes and into the blankets beneath her, and curled into it. Her last thought before she succumbed to unconsciousness was,

_ I'll deal with this later... or maybe I won't. _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just figured I'd let you guys know that sometimes I make up words and there are 3 reasons for it:
> 
> -All of language is made up of made-up words, *especially* English  
-I love portmanteaus  
-No one can stop me
> 
> If you see me use a word that is not technically real but you still understand (the exception is "Tobe", I suppose), you don't have to comment!! I know and made it up


	3. The Reveal, the Repetition, and the Retrieval

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary: Dib tries to show his father the alien he found. After which, he talks to her about the word he learned from Zim, and she responds strangely to it. A trio of robots worry for their master.

Dib was grumbling quietly to himself when he got back to his room. That dinner had not been productive at all. Though he hadn't made a scene, and he kept the paranormal talk to a minimum (he wouldn't know this, but it still dominated most of the evening conversation), still he wasn't taken seriously.

"Dad, there's an alien in my room," he'd said. "I found it last night!"

"That's nice, son," his dad had replied, trying his best to sound attentive.

It was a hard line to walk with Dib-- give him too little and he'd get upset, but give him too much and that would feed into his delusions. He just wanted what was best for Dib, and he had such potential for science; limitless curiosity. What a shame it was that he wasted it on imaginary things like this. The Professor wholeheartedly believed that, despite Dib's being ten years old, he could definitely contribute to the furthering of science in modern society.

When Dib had tried to continue, he was continuously brushed off in similar fashions. By the end of dinner, he'd started raving-- "Dad, really, you have to come see it. Just one look, please? It's amazing! It's not trying to leave or anything! It's never been easier!"

He slammed the door when he entered his room. He was so used to being by himself that he'd almost forgotten the alien he'd hidden away, so his angry mumbling and murmuring became closed-teeth screaming.

The alien's eyes flew open at the sound of the door. She flicked them around the room-- what had happened? Why was she lying down? Her PAK was broken-- she had to work on fixing it! She couldn't just lie there with her eyes closed, doing nothing!

Dib's emotional state was odd, though. The way he paced back and forth, his eyes narrowed and the way he went back to the quiet, crazy-sounding mumbling. For the most part, she couldn't figure out what he was saying, but she caught him repeating, "I'll show them..." She poked her fingers together a bit nervously. There were a lot of strange things happening all at once, and Dib was definitely part of it.

"What is happening?" she asked, scooching forward on the bed so her legs dangled. "Also, what is this strange, soft... er, not-chair?"

Dib glared at her, his fingers curled as he just stared, and stared.

"Hello? Alien Dib?" She waved her hand in front of his face. "Are you alive in there?"

"I have to show them," he realized aloud. "I can..."

Dib grabbed his alien's wrist.

"HEY!" she shouted. "Release me at once!"

She tried to pull out of his grip to no avail, and instead tried to dig her heels into the ground. When that didn't work, she grabbed onto the door frame, but everything was happening so fast that she couldn't maintain a solid grip.

"I'll show them all."

Despite her struggling all the way down the stairs, yelling and pulling and yanking, Dib seemed unaffected. He had a mission. Finally, he had living, walking proof of aliens. His father could no longer look at him like he thought that he belonged in a mental institution. He glanced back at his alien, who was smaller than him, and was fighting so hard but not going anywhere, and felt nothing. This victory would be numb, so much lesser than if he'd gotten someone he was more evenly matched with, but it was still a victory.

He pulled his alien into his dad's lab, and she immediately went still and quiet. Everything around her was so... well, not amazing. The tech was kind of old (and if she was being honest, it was also kind of bad), but it was still tech! Finally, sweet machinery! If she could escape stupid Dib's grip, she could sit and fix her PAK. She could remember who she was. She had to calm down, formulate a plan.

"Dad! Look!" Dib called. "It's the alien! You know, the one I told you about at dinner? That I had in my room?"

He raised his alien's arm up over his head, thereby pulling her onto her tiptoes. She glared at him.

Professor Membrane, to the alien, was a tall, looming figure with no face and only goggles. A mass of white; an ugly, awful being. The Irken never let her eyes leave where she assumed his eyes were, but the way the light was reflecting off of them at her height left her wondering.

"Ah, well, look at that," he said. The way he looked down at her made her feel like she was prey, and the way he sounded so disinterested only added to the effect. "What an excellent..."

"Specimen to dissect?" Dib offered eagerly. "Piece of alien scum? Job, Dib?"

"No, no," Membrane responded. "It's an excellent costume."

"A what now?" the alien asked.

"Yes, it looks very believable," Membrane continued. "You shaved their head and everything, and I can't see a headband."

"That's because there is no headband!" Dib cried. "This is a real, genuine alien! Look at it!"

"It has to be a costume," the Professor said, "because aliens just aren't real."

"I... genuinely have no idea what to say to that." Dib dropped the alien's wrist. She rubbed at it-- his grip had been so tight.

"Now, it's pretty late, so your little friend can stay overnight," Membrane said, "as long as they've talked to their parents about it. Did you?"

"Oh, for sure," she answered. "I definitely talked to my, er... 'pair ants'. I definitely know what that is, and I definitely talked to it about staying here."

"Good. Well, run along now, kids."

"But I..." Dib began.

He looked over to the alien, then back at his dad.

"I..."

The Irken shrugged at him, and his father remained expressionless. He sighed, disheartened.

"Come on, alien..."

She gave Professor Membrane a salute, before following Dib out of the room.

This time, the alien paid more attention to the rest of Dib's house. There was a large screen in front of a couch, flashing bright colours and screeching high-pitched nonsense. She paused to look at it, and upon deciding it was annoying, kept moving.

Dib was in a mopey sort of mood. Terrible dinner (food and conversation-wise; Gaz had been right-- they should've just gone to Bloaty's as usual) followed by a disappointing show. It had been his show, and it was him showing off an alien, only to be written off again. How was he supposed to convince anyone that he'd found a real alien? None of his contacts had even gotten back to him...

"Are you coming, or what?" he asked, turning to watch his- the alien observe his house.

"...Is this a real question, or do you want me to hurry up?"

"I don't care."

She looked around the room again, before following Dib upstairs. Dib seemed to be sad in more ways than the obvious, and she figured it might be better to follow her captor and ensure his good mood before she explored her own needs. She looked around one last time, making doubly sure to note where the lab was, before following him back upstairs.

Dib was mumbling again, less angrily than when he'd entered his room earlier that night, but the same amount of incoherent was coming out of his mouth. He plopped himself down on his bed, arms outstretched, stared at the ceiling, and finally shut up.

The alien sat beside him.

"I feel that went poorly for you," she said.

"Oh, gee, you think?" he retorted.

"It was shocking just how dumb that guy was," she continued, "and your striving for his approval was even harder to watch than his denial of what was directly in front of him."

Dib was silent. He was trying to find something to shoot back at her, but unfortunately, she was right. He simply frowned and pouted.

"Just so you know, that is what I'll be saying, now. That I'm in costume. If the alternative to me being in costume is being dissected, then that is what I will be saying from now on. So thank you for that."

"No problem," he sighed.

There was a long bout of silence between them.

"So... at least something was accomplished from all that," she said, "even if it was you helping the enemy you've made of me."

Dib thought for a moment. She was wrong, really-- it had been her species that had declared war on the human race and on Earth itself. It hadn't been her, but still, they were enemies. He had to wonder, though, if it had been her that had arrived on Earth before Zim, would he have decided that Zim was a friend by association? Would he have changed his mind about her after he'd arrived?

Oh, right, Zim.

"Hey..." he began. The alien, who had been fiddling with her thick gloves, looked over at him. "Does the word 'Tobe' mean anything to you?"

"I don't think so," she replied instantly. She wasn't about to tell this to her captor, but the word stabbed an innate sense of insecurity through her chest. She suddenly wanted the conversation to be over.

"Really?" he asked. "There's a, uh... connection that I have that said that... that's what you are."

"I wouldn't know either way." She spoke rather quickly, trying hard to disguise that she was uncomfortable, but failing. "If I did, though, I don't think I would call me that. It's certainly not a name, let alone my name, so I insist that we do not use it to refer to me."

"I feel like you just remembered something."

"I remembered that 'Tobe' is not my name, which doesn't really narrow it down much, and as such, you should not call me that."

"What should I call you, then?" he asked. "I mean, my dad thinks you're just one of my friends, so we should pick a real name to call you."

"Strange, you don't seem like the type to just do whatever is easiest. I am perfectly fine to wait until I've remembered my real name to be referred to as something."

"Do you think you will?"

"Remember? Yes. Now that I know that you have access to tools, primitive as they may be, I will still be able to repair myself. I'll learn to make it work-- I suppose I can't know for sure, but I think I always do."

Dib quieted down again, and so did the alien. The silence was no longer so dismal, and the longer they were quiet, the more Dib thought.

Dib was usually an out-loud thinker. He'd almost always be murmuring to himself about something or other-- it wasn't like anyone ever listened, so it wasn't like it mattered. His time alone was almost always filled with sound, be it the whir of his computer or the nearly-whispered sound of his own voice. He never really just stopped, and thought, alone in the comfort of his own rather large head.

When he finally, maybe for the first time, did, he realized that he'd have nowhere to put the alien when he went to school the next day. Meaning that she could escape. Whether or not she had someplace else to go, most captives preferred to go free. While she hadn't expressed any particular interest in that (and she was still there when he got home from dinner, he had to admit), who knew what sort of plan she could come up with in seven hours? Zim would come up with something. Escaping a house wasn't that hard, given that houses usually weren't built to keep people in, like a prison. It wasn't like he could just handcuff her again, either, since it seemed as though she could simply ask to be released. He wanted to keep a constant eye on her, though, and he couldn't really beat around the bush anymore: 

He had to take her to school.

* * *

Out in space, closer than maybe one would guess, three robots went about their days maintaining their home while their master was out. There were four other robots, but one was unbuilt, one was the ship's computer, and the other two were purely functional and their AIs were very basic.

"Do you think our master's been out of the house for a long time?" one of them asked.

Their master modified a SIR unit for that one-- so she was a more compact bot with plenty of useful features. Master had given her a bit more personality, and some better sense of free will (though she still had to do whatever Master told her, there were certain protocols in place to prevent mass- or self-destruction, in which case she could disobey or object). She was the most recent build, designed specifically for the journey to "Earth," so she was the smartest and strongest (and cutest, she reminded everyone) bot up there.

"Are you concerned, Zap?" the second bot asked. "Or do you just want to use your human disguise?"

"There's no reason that both can't be true!" she huffed.

The second bot was a larger one, looking a bit like three stones piled on top of each other with relatively short, yet thick, arms, and three long fingers hanging off either one. It held three hundred and fifty-two memory chips, and was essentially a walking encyclopedia. It was filled with as much of the knowledge of the universe that Master could find, and sometimes, since Master was so young, the information was a little bit dicey. It could learn all the same though, and was programmed with the same protocols as Zap.

"It's only been a few days," the third bot reasoned. "Master has been away longer."

The third bot certainly looked pretty. In reality, he had been created just a little bit before Zap. Master had created him to help with the escape, so he was loaded with stealth features-- he could hack into almost anything with the intent of discovering stealth-related information, and his footsteps didn't make a sound. He was taller than Zap, but he had a huge amount of inventory space.

"I just... can't help but feel as though something is wrong," Zap replied. "Master left without warning last night."

The other two had gone back to their duties. It sucked being the most advanced robot in a place-- the other's synthesized feelings were so much more easily resolved than hers. Theirs were easy problems, and they were built to solve problems. It was both a blessing and a curse that Zap's were deeper and more complex than theirs.

"And you can't even pay attention for longer than two seconds..." she mumbled. Louder, she continued: "ESC-X, Cyclo, something might be seriously wrong with our Master, and neither of you even care! I feel like something is wrong, and you both just brushed me off!"

"There are three of us for a reason," ESC-X replied.

"The reason is that Master just so happened to leave in the middle of building the fourth," Zap interrupted.

"No. Well, maybe, but there are three of us right now for a reason-"

"What is it, then?" Cyclo whirred, meaning that it was recording.

"I'm getting there! Just listen!" He looked between his two robot companions. "Okay, so. The reason there are three of us here..." He flicked his gaze between the two of them again, expecting an interruption. "Is be-"

"Just get to the point!" Zap demanded.

"I'm trying to! You just need to shut up!"

"Well, you keep pausing!"

"I keep pausing because you keep cutting me off!"

"Well, we'll stop interrupting!"

"You sure you can resist? You really-"

"Yeah! Now why are there three of us?!"

"In case one of us develops faulty rationalizations!"

"You think I'm faulty?!"

"No, no, I think that your decision-making abilities have been compromised based on your intricately-programmed emotional responses."

"Oh, that's so much better!"

"Well, ma-"

"Quiet, both of you!" Cyclo yelled. They did, immediately, and turned towards it. "I do not believe that Zap's decision-making is being impeded by her more emotional nature. I simply have full faith in our Master's ability to manage the situation, no matter how dire it may be. That being said, Zap is synced to Master's PAK. It is possible, that if something is wrong, it is that Master is damaged in some way, and she has an understanding of it that we simply cannot."

The robots all quieted, dearly wishing that there was nothing wrong with their Master. Zap peered out the window, gazing at the beautiful blue planet beneath them. Somewhere, her Master was in danger... she didn't know exactly what was wrong, but if it was something to do with the PAK, it couldn't be good.

"So, what do we do?" Zap asked. "Do we follow emergency protocol?"

"I say we observe the situation up close," ESC-X offered. "We should go down to Earth, locate her, and her state will determine our next moves."

Zap and Cyclo agreed.


	4. New Tools, Old Friends, Bad Food

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Two robots come to Earth in search of their Master. Dib names the alien "Alena", who has made herself a tiny blowtorch. Zim is in the process of making friends with the strange new girl in his class.

Two human children were just leaving their house when Zap and ESC-X showed up. Backpacks slung over their shoulders, they eyed those approaching warily.

The way their Master had designed their disguises was rather ingenious. The device, which was still being tested back on their home planet but perfected by her upon reaching Earth, tricked the native species' brains into thinking that what they saw was a typical specimen. Master had designed their disguises according to personality-- Zap passed as a small human child with two frizzy black buns on either side of her head, and a mismatched outfit typical of children she was trying to imitate. ESC-X, human name Ebert, looked to be a bit older, and had brown hair mostly concealed by a teal beanie, which matched the scarf he had slung around his purple turtleneck.

"Excuse me," Zap said. A bright and friendly presence, she walked right up to them. "We are looking for our normal human sister! Have you seen her anywhere?"

Ebert, standing behind her, seemed to already know the answer to this question. He said nothing.

"No, I don't think so," the human boy answered. The pair looked so different that it was hard to believe that they could be siblings, or even what the third sibling could look like.

Zap wondered if the curve of his hair would support her weight if she were to hold onto it.

"You can't mistake her," Ebert said. "She is my twin. She has the same colour hair and skin as me, though her eyes are teal, and she will be wearing a grey, blue-spotted backpack."

"Haven't seen her," he shrugged.

The human girl walked away from the conversation. Ebert almost stopped her, but she gave off a rather terrifying, powerful aura and he decided it was best to leave her be.

"Hey, uh, I have to go to school, now," the human said, "so... if that's all, I'll be going."

Ebert checked his wrist. He had an internal clock, but that was something he saw humans do. He didn't even have a real watch, and instead he simply glanced at the hem of his sweater. It was nicely-made. Too bad it was simply a hologram/hallucination.

"Yes, it is human schooltime," he agreed. He narrowed his eyes as he spoke-- maybe this was true, maybe it wasn't, but either way, he'd tracked his Master to this house. He knew he wasn't wrong. "Zap, we should leave. We wouldn't want to keep anyone from learning activities."

"Of course not!" She beamed up at the human. She wished that Ebert had gotten the names of whoever it was that lived in this house, but he either did and didn't tell her or decided it wasn't worth the trouble. "Bye-bye! Let us know if you find her!"

The pair of them turned to leave.

"How am I supposed to contact you?" the human called.

"You simply find her, and wait," Ebert replied. "We will come back."

They left without another word.

Dib watched them leave, then turned around and slowly pushed his front door open again. He hadn't seen them coming, but his visitor had wanted just a few more minutes in the lab. Gaz was already heading to the bus stop, and while it didn't surprise him that she didn't wait for him, it did sadden him just a bit.

The Irken had spent all night working on her PAK. If she was to be out in public, she figured she should at least look presentable, so bit by bit, she carefully pried apart the broken shell, and then even more carefully fused them together. Unfortunately, she'd found herself being roused by Dib. She'd gotten the main part of that task done, but she'd made zero progress on her memory chips.

However, in pulling everything apart, she discovered something: a small insert in her right circle that was simply labelled _Disguise_. When activated, it gave her the appearance of a light-skinned, brown-haired biped, looking in species quite like Dib, who then informed her that she looked "human."

This meant that it was time to choose a "human name." There was a bit of an argument-- she didn't know what her real name was, and she didn't want to sully her new self with some stupid human name. She didn't want to come to know herself as the name that Dib chose. Dib argued that it was necessary since he couldn't introduce her as "the alien" to his class, and since she was his prisoner, what he said, went.

She really couldn't argue with that. (Well, she could've, but Dib was heading off to the "kitchen" for some "breakfast". Whatever that was. It really seemed like the conversation was over, at any rate.)

When Dib entered the lab, the alien wasn't hunched over her PAK like she had been all night. She was sitting up straight, testing out her teeny little blowtorch. It wasn't anything fancy, but it would work for the time being.

She pulled up the mask that she'd found. It was way too big for her, but it was still protection.

"Hey, I can't work with you in here," she said.

"I thought you said you'd be right out," Dib stated in turn.

"Oh, that was a lie." She put down her tool. "I bought myself a few more minutes to put myself back together. I do not want to go to your human school, especially when I could be repairing my memories. I thought that was obvious."

Despite that statement, she still took off her mask, and hopped off the stool she was on. She pressed a circle and changed into her disguise, and then took the tiny blowtorch and put it in her large hoodie's pocket.

The pair of them then exited the house.

The human name Dib had chosen was "Alena." He'd thought about it all night, and it sounded enough like "alien" to maybe keep her from complaining too hard, but it also seemed like a name someone could have.

Alena, however, did not like the name. It wasn't her name. What was going to happen when she regained all her memories? Was she just supposed to ask to be referred to as her real name as though it was a nickname? She complained about it all the way to the bus stop, and when they boarded, she complained about the bus, too.

As it turned out, Alena could, in fact, just walk into class. Ms. Bitters asked who she was, in that scary, snarling voice she had, to which Alena replied,

"You don't remember me? I've been in your class since day one. I am Alena."

Ms. Bitters narrowed her eyes.

"Just sit in your spot."

Alena looked around this "classroom." At the front of the room, there was a large, black board covered in scratch marks, and in the main body of the room, attached tables and chairs. A human child sat at each of these, and she could feel all their eyes on her.

She sucked in an anxious breath. This feeling was so familiar, but it was also so unwelcome. A passing thought told her to take note of the situation and her feelings in case it was a hint at who she was, but every other fiber of her being just wanted this moment to end and for no one to look at her again and to forget it ever happened.

The only open seat was behind a child with green skin and an outfit that seemed familiar in a way that Alena couldn't place. He was the only child that wasn't staring at her, that didn't seem to care, and for that she was thankful.

Alena was told five times before lunch to put away her tiny blowtorch. While it was still a risk to have it out at all, it, and the thing she was working on, were both so small she figured that it would probably be fine. The issue was not that of safety, though-- it was that whenever she would pull out her equipment, every person in the class would turn to see what she was doing. They would lean out of their chairs, climb over each other, and whisper; they weren't sitting, still and quiet.

Dib spent none of his class time paying any attention to his schoolwork nor the lectures. He was staring intently at Alena, watching her every move. She didn't do much once Ms. Bitters finally got her to put away her project-- just sat with her chin in her hand and fiddling with an invisible-looking piece of something. Actually, when he looked closer, he saw that Zim was doing basically the exact same thing.

And Alena was sitting right behind him...

Was she able to see through his disguise? Wait, wait, that was a stupid question. Of course she was. She totally saw right through him and recognized him as one of her own, and she was going to ask him questions and help him take over the Earth once she remembered that was the reason she was there. He had to stop that from happening at all costs.

At lunch, Alena, Dib, and Gaz sat together at a table. Gaz spent most of her time playing video games-- she really didn't have much to say to either of the people she was sitting with, and she didn't want to talked at about whatever it was Dib talked about. She barely paid attention, but it was mostly "blah blah Zim blah blah aliens blah blah gotta save the world." The alien he'd brought home the other day was her saviour.

The food looked and smelled just awful. Alena was almost gagging just glancing at it from the corner of her eye, and it seemed that she wasn't the only person in the cafeteria that felt that way-- Zim had mistakenly put just a bit of it to his lips, and upon tasting it, jumped up onto the table. He slipped and fell into the mashed "potatoes," screaming all the way.

"What a compelling point," Alena commented. "We should sit with him."

"We should not." Dib shoved a forkful of peas in his mouth.

"Listen, human-Dib, you can shove me into this human child prison for hours upon hours, days upon days, just to watch me, but you can watch me just as well over there as you can over here."

With that, she pushed up and away from the table and walked over to the green boy.

"Greetings, fellow human," she said, sitting down without waiting for an invitation. "I am your regular classmate, Alena. I have been here the whole time. I felt your reaction to whatever slop it is they're serving us was apt, and I would like to ask for your companionship."

"Zim has no need for companions," he replied. "Begone, human child."

Dib watched, but he couldn't hear what they were talking about. He strained his neck, but still couldn't get quite close enough to listen in.

"What do you think they're talking about?" he asked Gaz.

Gaz sighed. She hadn't even noticed Alena's absence, engrossed in her game. It was a sad, sad blessing that she was so good at blocking out Dib's nonsense.

Dib watched when there came a point that Zim allowed Alena to stay at his edge of the table. What had she said that had convinced him? She couldn't remember who she was- unless she _did_ and she was _lying_ and he brought her _exactly where she wanted to be._

When Dib rushed over in a fit of paranoia, he found that his suspicions were rather unfounded.

"...and being surrounded by all these _smelly humans-"_

"Oh, yes! Right?! They smell so bad!"

Zim narrowed his eyes when he saw Dib approaching. Alena turned and eyed him with a similarly judgmental stare.

"What do you want, Dib-human?" Zim sneered.

"Just to sit beside my... foreign exchange student," he replied, taking a seat beside Alena.

"That is an excellent way to put the situation I am in," she remarked.

"Watch over her, make sure she's not... planning anything," Dib continued.

"What would I be planning?"

"I dunno... with him? Anything."

Alena and Zim exchanged a glance. Simultaneously, they responded:

"As if I would lower myself to plan something with some human girl!"

"Why would I be planning something with this human I've never met before?"

Those answers seemed a little too convenient... _planned,_ even. Dib leaned in closer.

"Dib, you may stay for as long as you wish," Alena said, "we were simply discussing the disgusting state humanity is in. This doesn't seem like your... thing."

"What? Of course it's my thing," he said through gritted teeth. He wasn't about to just leave when Earth's greatest pair of enemies were sitting right in front of him.

"Great, then, as we were saying." Alena turned back to Zim. "They smell so _awful."_

"And that's not even the worst of it!" Zim agreed. "They're so stupid, and every so often, water rains from the sky!"

_"No_ way, that's terrible."

Oh, they totally knew that the other was an alien. Referring to humans as things other than themselves, acting like rain was news... Dib had to stop the pair from interacting ever again. Somehow. But Alena already sat right behind him in class. He'd figure something out.

* * *

"You know, GIR, perhaps not all humans are as despicable as I first thought," Zim pondered upon returning to his base.

GIR smacked a small plush rat against the floor, making explosion sound effects as he did so. He was very preoccupied with his little game, and wasn't paying much attention to what his master had to say.

"Of course, they're all disgusting, vile, little ape creatures," he continued, waving his hand in the air, "but I had the strangest encounter earlier today."

"Noo, don't kill me...!" GIR yelled quietly.

"Yes, it was quite strange... It's almost a shame I'll have to destroy her along with the Earth. Perhaps I can take her along as a slave, though she has an air of stubbornness that might make her awful at that... Anyways, let's see what the Dib-monkey is doing with the Tobe."

Zim turned on his monitors, but no matter where he looked, he couldn't find her. All he saw was Dib sitting in a corner in his Father's lab, watching a figure work on something very tiny on the table in front of them. He couldn't quite make out a face or any specific qualities, so he decided it was probably her. What was she working on? It was far too small to see.


	5. Culture, Morality, and a Doorknob

The Tobe hadn't moved in several hours, and Zim couldn't help but let his mind wander...

There were two Tobes, and there always were. Usually, one of them was assassinated-- the task of doing so was very difficult, though, so it had never happened twice. The Tobes would spend minimal time together-- they would only meet randomly, and a computer would decide thirty minutes before they did.

Tallests Red and Purple had been an exception, in that both of them had survived. They ruled together-- fortunately, leader's PAKs were always chosen to complement each other. The Tallests in this case had very similar personalities and tastes, but most importantly, a similar interest in taking over the world.

Tobe Zing and Tobe Keer, however, had opposing personalities. Tobe Zing was quick-witted, a swift fighter, and a talented inventor. Tobe Keer was clumsy, though charming-- she was also very adaptable, and a very hard worker. She also worked well with large groups of people, where Zing preferred to work by herself.

He wondered where Tobe Keer was. Was she also making a visit to a distant invader? Perhaps not... With her argumentative attitude, Keer would no doubt immediately get herself killed, were she kidnapped. Zing was much more passive-- she was an opportunist. If she found herself in a tight situation, she would wait for a good moment to make her move. This was why, Zim knew, she was still in the Dib's house.

Of course, Zim had never met any Tobe. He was just going through the list of things he knew of them based on media he'd done heavy research on. If there were Tobes, it meant that the current Tallests had less than one hundred years left in their rule, according to a computer's calculations, and Zim was certain that he'd live long enough to serve under them.

There wasn't a lot of information about the Tobes readily available. The only thing the Empire at large knew was that they'd been born, and that neither of them had died. Zim, nosy as he was, poked around as much as he could to learn what he did about them. He made deductions based on the data he found, and decided that working under them would be very interesting. He was even lucky enough to find a few pictures, which was why he was able to recognize Tobe Zing on sight.

Right then, though, she hadn't moved in two hours. She was hunched over the table, facing downwards. If he didn't know any better, he'd think she fell asleep... but Irkens didn't sleep. They didn't need to-- their PAKs should provide them with any and all nutrients and energy they might need. What could she be doing, then? Was it possible that Irken young needed to rest? Were Tobe PAKs different, somehow? It should just be the career chips...

Zim left his screen to work on his next plan to take over the Earth. As important as monitoring the status of the Tobe was, it was equally important that he have some good material for her to judge once he finally saved her. Which he would get to, as soon as he had the perfect plan.

Dib roused Alena after he ate breakfast. He didn't realize Irkens slept at all, so he figured she'd want as much time in the lab as possible. Not that it mattered what she wanted or didn't want, but it wasn't like she'd ever lied to him so far. She said she wanted to fix her PAK, and she sat in the lab as much as she could in order to fix it.

The welding mask clung to her face when she tried to pry it off, and when she finally did, still, a trail of drool connected her to it. She looked groggily around the room, like she didn't recognize where she was, before her gaze settled on Dib.

"Oh, you," she said.

"It's time to go to school," Dib said.

Alena hopped off the stool, and stretched. Her spine cracked as she did so.

"Alright, let's go," she agreed.

"What, just like that?"

"Sure." She shrugged. "You know, I find few joys being under your watch, but, as I'm sure you remember, I partially bonded with a different human child. I was able to engage in a rational conversation for the first time in, well, three human days, I suppose. Still, you provide little intellectual stimulation, and far more frustration than you're worth."

"Yeah, about Zim..." Dib said. "Maybe it's better if you don't talk to him."

"Oh? Are you going to stop me from talking to him, somehow? Are you going to make a scene, blurt out that I'm an alien? Are you going to somehow find a way to rip off my holographic disguise? Are you then going to receive praise by your peers, especially your human male caretaker? Will you weep tears of joy? Will you finally be accepted by the world at large? Will you finally be whole?"

"Hey..." Dib looked down.

"Try again to tell me who I can and cannot talk to under circumstances you do not have full jurisdiction over me. Anyways, enough of your feelings-- I have finished the reparations of my history chip. Watch closely, human, as I recall the glory and beauty of my people."

Alena slid her PAK back on. Dib watched her stop, and look up. She stared forward, before her eyes flicked down, then back and forth like she was reading.

"Oh no..." she murmured.

She looked over at Dib, and there was some mixture of sadness and shock on her face. It slowly melted into one of guilt.

"Oh... my, this is... not very good."

It was then that Alena recalled the entirety of Irken history. Yes, Irken-- that's what she was. She was a member of a race that was very quickly taking over the entire universe. Planets being conquered, civilizations being destroyed, and people and their families killed. Not that she had much of a concept of what a family was, but based on how she felt when she was building, having that ripped away... would be devastating.

Not that Irkens would know, since they were all born from pods and immediately given access to all information from every moment prior to their birth. They were then trained into their field-- most commonly soldiers, but sometimes there were navigators or service workers-- and set off to live as such by mid-adolescence.

She remembered the Almighty Tallests Red and Purple-- they cared for nothing, perhaps not even the other. She had to wonder that if the other died, would they care? Did they have the capacity to care?

However, she still did not know how she tied into the Empire. She could only think of one thing:

She must be an elite Invader. She must be there to conquer and destroy.

"What?" Dib asked.

"Nothing," she replied, still not looking directly at him. "I saw... nothing."

"Nothing?"

"Well, I know the history of my people, but still nothing of myself, so what does it matter to you? Did you want to interrogate me? No, you're the type to call in others to celebrate your achievements for you. Do something yourself, for once."

With that, Alena changed into her disguise, and marched out the door. She walked three steps ahead of him on the way to the bus, and never once looked behind to see if he was keeping up.

She sat by herself on the bus, too, staring out the window in deep thought. Did she want to conquer this planet? Did she want to eradicate or enslave the human race? Somehow, she felt that that was not the reason she was there... but she couldn't imagine what else it could be. She wasn't the type to run away from something... she certainly felt as though she was a loyal person. Perhaps she had her doubts with her memories as well...

When she got to school, she sat in the spot she'd claimed the day before. She didn't glance at any of her classmates, and leaned on her arm while her fingers traced the carvings on the desk. She didn't really know what they meant, but they might not mean anything.

"Ahem."

She flicked her eyes over towards the sound without really moving at first. There was a boy, taller than her, looking at her. She looked away afterwards.

"Ahem."

"What?" She turned.

"You're in my seat," he said.

"That is incorrect," she replied. "I have been in this seat as long as I have been here."

"I was out sick for one day, and I've never seen you here before."

"Perhaps you are still delirious, human classmate, for I have been here the entire time."

"No, you haven't! Ms. Bitters!"

"Silence!" she crooned. She slithered over through the air to stand imposingly over him. "I will not tolerate any whiners in my class."

"But I-"

"No buts! If I hear one more peep or heep or otherwise out of you, I will send you to the principal's office!"

She headed back to her desk, in one fluid movement.

"Peep," Alena chimed, loud enough for Ms. Bitters to hear.

Ms. Bitters turned around, glaring at the whiner. She extended one arm and shouted,

"GO!"

"But that was-"

"GO!"

A hiss followed her words. It was unlike any sound Alena had ever heard, and she felt so lucky that she was not on the receiving end of it.

The boy bumped into Zim on his way out, so Zim was grumbling as he sat down. He turned to glance at Alena.

"Do you sit there?" he asked.

"You tell me," she replied.

"Oh." He paused. "Well, good Earth morning, human classmate Alena."

"And to you as well, human classmate Zim."

Alena blinked at him, as though she suddenly realized something. Zim didn't care enough to ask.

He did, however, notice that there were a few off traits about her physical appearance. Rather than being straight and pure white, her teeth were interlocking and a very light pink. She also only had three fingers, and he also noticed that her backpack had no straps, and that she hadn't taken it off, yet.

Wow, how fortunate was it that everything that made him seem "alien" really would have a real human explanation?

"Zim, how familiar are you with the concept of morality?" she asked. "I know that we do not know each other well, but the only other human in this room I know well enough to ask is... Dib, and I would really rather not ask him."

"Coming to Zim for advice?" This was not really a question. "It's good that one of you humans recognizes my superior intellect. Now... what specifically is your problem?"

"How important is it to you to remain loyal to your people?"

"Hrm?"

"Should I remain loyal to the empire my people have built, even though I disagree with their methods on a personal level? Do I continue their work despite the fact that they do nothing but destroy, in some twisted name of 'glory?'"

Zim blinked. He almost didn't understand the questions, let alone how to respond to them.

"Genocide wracks the universe at large," she continued, "can I really stand back and let that happen? Or worse, can I really perpetuate these atrocities? Turn their actions into my own?"

"...Where are you from?" Zim asked.

"Oh, just... somewhere else," she replied. "I am a child, I do not know the names of places yet. I am a dumb human worm baby."

"Right, yes..." Something about what she'd said sounded awfully familiar, but she was just a human... He decided that his answer wouldn't really matter. "I believe that loyalty to what you believe is the truest loyalty of all. If the actions of your people do not speak for you in particular, you should do your best to deviate from that pattern and model yourself however you desire."

"But what if-"

She was cut off by the bell that signaled the beginning of class, and sighed. Perhaps she should ponder the rest of her questions internally... it wasn't as though this human child would have all of the answers she sought, no matter how much he stuck out to her.

Zim, too, found himself deep in thought. Alena's questions reminded him of the Irken Empire, somehow. Despite the fact that his advice was not meant to be much more than reassuring drivel, he could somehow relate it back to his own self-- he'd been banished, but when he'd heard about Impending Doom II, he was able to up and leave what he'd been re-encoded to do. He was still the best invader of all time, even though he should technically not have the capacity.

He really was amazing.

Ebert and Zap stood outside the Membrane house. Zap had insisted that Ebert learn as much as he could about its residents so that they could refer to them as something other than "human male", "human girl", and so on.

Dib, Gaz, and the Professor. In learning names, Ebert had also learned a bit about each of these people-- the Professor was one of Earth's top researchers, and as such, there were a lot of things in the house that could be hacked into; Gaz was very much interested in video games, and Zap reckoned that her hand-eye coordination was probably fantastic-- they should avoid any confrontations with her; and Dib was a paranormal investigator.

Ebert figured that when their Master had gone to Earth, Dib had taken her by surprise, removed her PAK, and started messing with it-- this triggered Zap's alarm. Him and the Professor were probably on working on some extravagant way to reveal their Master to the world.

If only they could get inside...

"Why don't you just hack it?" Zap questioned.

"Oh, why didn't I think of that?" Ebert shot. "The technology is advanced... I can't seem to find a lock program, let alone disable it."

"What about that knob-looking thing?"

"It's probably got programming of its own inside..." Ebert touched it, tried to turn it, but it barely moved. "There must be a keypad somewhere nearby to activate it properly... Or perhaps I just need to find the right sequence of turns."

"Maybe there's something physical that goes in that hole," Zap suggested.

"That's ridiculous. Zap, this is serious. No kidnapper would risk losing their ability to see their kidnappee-- they would not rely on such ancient technology."

"Are you sure you're not overthinking it?"

"There is no way that is possible. I have never been more certain of anything in my life."

Zap thought ESC-X was full of poop, but she didn't say anything. He probably knew better, anyways, since he was the hacker/escape bot.


	6. The Smart One, the Alphabet, and the Task Force

Cyclo thought that the way its fellow robots scurried around blinded by their own stupidity was terribly funny. Where before it was concerned for its Master’s wellbeing, Zap’s eyes served as a camera connected to the satellite on which they all lived; Cyclo recognized Dib to be a human youth.

Zap was an information retrieval unit, true, but she often forgot to back up her data before sending it over to Cyclo, so she would always lose a good deal of information-- such as what doorknobs and children were.

Of course, it was of great importance that their Master be returned home. The longer she spent on Earth, in that town, the more likely it was that she encountered Zim. Soon, their satellite would be hovering over a different part of the Earth, and they wouldn’t have to worry about seeing him, but they had to get their Master out of there.

It just wished that Zap and ESC-X would break a window or something to get in, grab their Master, and head back.

Of course, their Master wasn’t at the Membrane house. She was at a human school, sitting, and staring at a sheet of paper covered in strange markings. Ms. Bitters had simply crooned at the class to complete the worksheet, but Alena was having a very hard time figuring out what to fill.

She peered over at the child sitting next to her. She’d written some of the symbols down.

Alena copied them to the best of her ability, not quite understanding what they were. It would be fine.

Dib tried really hard not to let her sit with Zim at lunch, but to their surprise, he made himself comfortable at the table, anyways. The conversation really got away from Dib, and of course, Gaz was of no help. She really, really, really could not emphasize enough to her brother how little she cared.

It was soon time to head back home. Alena walked in front of Dib, but behind Gaz, and sat by herself on the bus ride back.

Much to Gaz’s surprise, Alena didn’t head back into the lab when they got back. She made herself comfortable on the couch, while Gaz played a game on the family console that only she really used. It was just a generic platform game-- she’d beaten it before, but it was a good filler game to play between releases of more interesting content.

Gaz was surprised and relieved when Alena said nothing. All she did, usually, was talk. About what? Didn’t matter-- Gaz didn’t care.

A bit of dialogue popped up on the screen, and Alena leaned forward.

“That,” she said. “What is that?”

“What?” Gaz replied.

“Those symbols,” Alena replied. “They’re everywhere. I saw them at school today, on a piece of paper, but I also saw several signs on our travel from there to here.”

“They’re words,” Gaz answered.

“That can’t be true.”

“Why not? You’re an alien. Why would we have the same alphabet?”

“We’re speaking the same language, in words the other can understand.”

“Not everyone speaks English.”

“It’s not called English, it’s the universal common tongue.” Alena crossed her arms.

“Is there a universal common alphabet?”

Alena paused, thinking. There was a lot of information in her PAK, and she was still learning how to sift through it again.

“I don’t think so.”

Gaz went back to her game. She could feel Alena’s eyes on her fingers. It was a burning hot gaze.

“What you do with your fingers... controls the T.V.?”

“Have you never seen a video game?”

“Uh... no.” Alena blinked. “What’s a game?”

Gaz had to pause to stare at Alena for a really, really long time.

“Aren’t you, like, an adult?”

“Oh, no. Far from it. If you tell me how many hours there are in an Earth day, and how many days there are in an Earth year, I can tell you my exact age in terms you can understand.”

“You remember your age, but not your name?”

“My PAK has a signature for how long it has been operational with the flesh sack it inhabits, so no.”

“Oh.”

It wasn’t like Gaz really cared how old or young Alena was. So she pressed the plus button on her controller and kept playing.

* * *

On the Massive, a pair of Irkens were squealing in delight, and had pulled each other in a tight embrace. They had each received the best news of their lives, and, as best friends, wanted nothing more than to share it with the other. Of course, the best news of their lives were directly correlated.

Captain Gadd had been known as Gadd From Surveillance up until twenty minutes before then. He had been re-encoded after discovering something _very, _very important.

While reviewing footage, he had found a clip from a camera that showed Tobe Zing, followed by three bots (including a stolen SIR unit), heading into Dock U. Every camera between her quarters and that dock had been deactivated, too, and left behind one symbol in place of real footage: that of a triangle beneath an arc. It had taken him so long because no one knew _exactly _when she left, and surveillance was a one-person department.

When Gadd had found this footage and informed the Tallest, he had immediately been promoted to Captain, and he was being assigned his own task force to locate Tobe Zing.

It was not because the Tallest were bored of the whole ordeal. They didn’t care in the first place.

Still, finding the Tobe was a top priority. They had to dedicate some amount of resources to finding her, and they were tired of being so personally involved.

It wasn’t the first time Gadd had been re-encoded. The first time, he had been a Pilot, but he said something stupid about wanting to fly the Massive, by himself, for twenty minutes. He wasn’t bad at his job, so he was still allowed to work in the Massive, just... not anywhere near the control room.

So the first thing he did when he was appointed Captain was offer Mit the navigator position on his team. She gleefully accepted.

Mit and Gadd pulled away from their hug.

“So, that’s a yes?” Gadd asked.

“Yeah, duh!” Mit was beaming. “You think I’ll be able to retire after this? Beach planet, here I come!”

After lunch, the pair headed into the control room.

“My Tallest,” Gadd greeted with a bow. Mit bowed in turn. “I have chosen Navigator Mit for my task force. I would also like to request an invader, a detective, and some sort of food servicer for the team. A task force of such importance requires proper catering.”

The Tallests looked at each other for a moment.

“He does make a good point,” Purple said.

“Very well,” Red nodded. “We will find you someone to bring you snacks.

Mit and Gadd exchanged a look.

“Wait a minute!” Purple exclaimed. “You can’t take Mit!”

“Why not?” Red whispered.

“She’s our tallest navigator,” he answered, crossing his arms.

“Oh, yeah. No, you can’t have her.”

Mit and Gadd looked at each other again.

“My Tallest,” Mit said, bowing again, “what if... I went, but we also took your worst detective.”

“Define ‘worst’,” Red ordered apprehensively.

“Uh... I meant least amount of cases solved, but it could very well mean shortest,” she answered.

“Doesn’t matter,” Purple decided. “You can’t have her.”

“My Tallest, don’t we need to expend our best resources for the safety of the Irken Empire?” Gadd pressed. “Who better to assure the return of the Tobe than our tallest navigator? Plus, she is taller than me, so perhaps her, er, tall wisdom will rub off on me.”

“That’s true,” Red nodded. “Maybe you could learn something from her height.”

The Tallests looked at each other.

“Okay, you can have our tallest navigator,” Purple agreed, “but you must also take our worst detective. Do you agree to these terms?”

“I do.”

“Excellent.”

The Irken Empire’s worst detective was Detective Funnk.

“Captain Gadd, Navigator Mit,” she greeted, nodding at each of them.

“Detective Funnk,” Gadd replied. “Welcome to our team. I’ve heard you’ve cracked zero cases. We hope that you are prepared to change that.”

“Yes, of course,” she replied. “I hope that the mission goes smoothly.”

“It will be smooth like smooth peanut butter,” Mit assured her.

“Good.”

“If you don’t mind my asking, where is your PAK?” Gadd inquired.

“Oh, it’s a new technology that I was randomly selected to test as a smeet,” she replied. “There were only one hundred of us chosen, and oh, how lucky am I-”

“The point,” Mit said, “get to it.”

“The tech is directly in my back instead,” she finished.

“Interesting,” Gadd lied.

“I feel like that makes it easier to damage,” Mit remarked. “Aren’t PAKs made out of a really, really hard metal?”

“It would take some combination of intense heat and physical force to damage a PAK in a substantial way,” Gadd affirmed. “What’s the point of having no PAK?”

“In some cultures, they call it _fashion,” _Funnk informed.

“That sounds like a huge waste of time.”

“Agreed.”

“At any rate, welcome to the team.”

“That was the first thing you said to me.”

The Tallest had informed the trio that there was only one invader that had completed her mission: Invader Rep.

They were all winking and nudging each other excitedly, since that meant that they were getting the most efficient invader in the Empire. Their hopes were quickly shot when they heard her speak:

“_Oh. Em. Gee!” _she exclaimed, wrapping her arms around Gadd’s shoulders. “I am _so totally excited _for this mission!”

“That’s good,” Mit said.

Rep squealed loudly.

“Captain Gadd, I, Invader Rep, am completely at your disposal!”

“That is good to hear,” he replied.

“Where did your mission take you?” Funnk asked.

“Oh, wow, it was totally insane,” she replied. “Where was it? Right, it was Nyopya, home of the Lycrosians. It was totally hard, because that race was super focused on, like, bookreading and stuff? And my SIR, like, broke on me about three days in. It was so random. Good thing I’m, like, super smart and resourceful and stuff.”

“Right.” Mit rolled her eyes.

“Anyways, the Lycrosian people were totally, like, sentient or whatever.” Rep grinned. “It was so random, I just completely infiltrated their democracy, campaigned my way to the top, and totally abused my power. It was, like, not even hard.”

With how loud she was, the other three really doubted that it was possible for her to have accomplished something like that by herself.

“Well, we hope your services will be relevant,” Gadd said. “Wel-”

“Welcome to the team!” Funnk interrupted. “Ha, I said it first.”

“Ha, she said it first,” Mit repeated.

Gadd grumbled something under his breath while the two of them hi-fived.

The final member of the team was Waiter Tisk. He brought no special skills to the table-- the Tallest had already assigned their worst of something on this mission, as well as their tallest of something, so they decided to assign the most mediocre service worker. That was the most fair outcome, they thought.

Mit was very excited to meet their service worker, because it had been her request. If there was one thing she liked, it was snacks. She was always sneaking snacks into work, and she seldom got caught. She learned very quickly that others were easily bought off by promise of snacks.

“Hello,” she greeted.

“Hello,” Tisk returned. “I am Waiter Tisk, at your service, blah, blah, blah, when do we leave?”

“Hold on, how do we know that this is the right man for the job?” Funnk questioned.

“I mean, it’s not an interview,” Gadd replied.

“Oh-em-gee, you are _so _short,” Rep said. “You’re, like, super cute, you know that?”

“Oh, thanks.” Tisk had to look up at Rep. He really didn’t get that very often.

The team was assembled, and was assigned a ship. It wasn’t a very large ship, but it was bigger than a voot cruiser. Perfect for a good couple of years outside of the Massive, and it was complete with a holding cell.

Once the five of them had been taught how to maintain their ship, they were off into the beautiful starry night sky. They were free from the Massive.

“Hey, um, where are we going?” Rep asked.

“Not sure,” Mit answered. “Funnk?”

“Uh, I just opened up the file,” she replied. A few holofiles floated around her, and she sifted through the information piece by piece. “It doesn’t look like she had any contacts, which is customary for a Tobe. She also modified her PAK so it couldn’t be tracked, which was a smart move.”

“So, what?” Tisk asked.

“So far, I’ve got nothing.” Funnk sat down, and opened as many files as possible.

“If she had no contacts, she’s probably not on an invader planet,” Tisk pointed out.

“Yeah, it would be, like, protocol to call any sightings in,” Rep agreed. “We might check Nyopya, ‘cause, like, there are not really any Irkens there anymore? There also isn’t, like, any sentient life there, either.”

“Is there life at all?” Mit asked.

“Oh, for sure,” she affirmed. “We just sent all the Lycrosians out to Vortian planets. So there’s still, like, vegetation and whatever.”

“Alright, let’s head for Nyopya,” Gadd decided.

“On it.” Mit started pressing buttons, typing commands.

Something that Rep had said was bouncing back and forth in Mit’s head. It was protocol to call sightings in, was it? The Tallest had brushed off Zim’s call, but he’d been calling to thank them for something... Well, it _was _just Zim. He could have been calling for any reason. He already called four times more than any invader, and infinitely more than Invader Rep had.

Oh, well. She’d keep it in mind, she supposed.


	7. Politics, Games, and a Bracelet

“Nyopya was the planet furthest from the Empire,” Funnk recalled, “so it might take a while to get there.”

“Um, just activate the speed boosters,” Rep replied.

“Speed boosters,” Mit repeated. She was a _navigator, _so she controlled where the Massive went-- not how fast it got there.

“It’s the yellow button,” Fisk told her quietly, so as not to embarrass her.

The yellow button was small and round, and had the words, _Speed Booster _written above it in glowing pink letters.

Mit’s mouth made an _o _shape, and she pressed it.

Other than the rustling of Mit’s bag of chips, the ship was quiet. Gadd and Mit would normally be cracking jokes or otherwise be up to some form of tomfoolery, but Gadd was taking this mission oddly seriously. She wondered if something was wrong-- or if, maybe, the re-encoding affected his personality. It hadn’t the first time...

“So, like,” Rep began, breaking the silence, “how did everyone get recruited for this mish?”

“They picked my name out of a hat,” Fisk replied. “Completely random. It’s a good gig, though, ‘cause I no longer have to wear a tray on my head.”

“Oh, yeah, our treatment of our, like, service workers is totally, um, abysmal,” Rep agreed.

“I mean, I get the tray-head thing,” Fisk shrugged, “since we’re always working for people taller than us. It’s just really uncomfortable and it’s hard to balance. Also it’s kind of demeaning, but what am I gonna do?”

“Yeah, it’s not like you can just quit,” Funnk agreed. “It’s all based on what you’ve been encoded with.”

“Oh yeah, you’re, like, the Empire’s worst detective, right?” Rep asked. “What makes you so bad?”

“I’m not sure, exactly,” she shrugged. “I’m just not perceptive, I guess. Also I really don’t care. Actually, I’m kind of against the police force as an institution. One group of people having complete control over the rest of the populace... that just feels like a bit _much.”_

“Totally, I think I can get that.” She paused, thinking. “Though, the Irken Empire is so, like, vast, and there are so few civilians living on Irk. Does it even matter?”

“I think so,” Funnk replied. “I mean, I live on Irk. The people there are really unhappy. The police force gets to choose who’s innocent and who’s guilty, and it can be based on nothing, and it can be despite damning evidence. Neighbours can be taken away with the snap of someone’s fingers... it’s so dystopian. I guess I’m lucky that I’m part of the force.”

“That’s rough,” Fisk said. He placed a comforting hand on her shoulder.

“Yeah, well...” She leaned her chin into her hands. “It’s like you said, right? What am I gonna do about it?”

A silence once again fell over the task force.

“What about you two?” Fisk asked. “What are your tragic stories?”

“I don’t think we know each other well enough for me to tell that kind of story,” Mit replied. “Let’s give it a couple of weeks.”

“But there _is _something,” Funnk stated.

“Well, yes,” Mit replied, “but it’s... very private.”

“Do I know it?” Gadd asked.

“Uh... maybe,” she replied. He gave her a stern look. “No, Gadd, you don’t know. We never really talked about secrets! That wasn’t our thing. I don’t even know why you wanted to drive the Massive.”

“And you never will,” he stated.

“Wait, you two knew each other?” Fisk asked.

“Sure,” Mit shrugged. “We’ve got the same birthday, so we were in the same training class.”

“I thought you were in, like, surveillance before you became Captain,” Rep said to Gadd.

“Yes, but before that, I was a pilot,” he said.

“You’ve been re-encoded twice?” Fisk asked.

“It was only a punishment the first time!”

“Did it hurt?” Funnk asked.

“Yes,” Gadd answered. “It... was really strange. Imagine the skills you currently have. You went through a few years of training to learn how to apply those skills to your real life, right? I suddenly-- twice, now-- have no ability to recollect two major parts of my life. Well, I can _remember _them, but I just don’t know how I did any of it. The information stalks the edges of my mind, but whenever I turn to get a good look at it, it disappears. It’s like... I never did those things. I _did, _and I remember that I did, but the information is gone. I’ve been replaced with people just as skilled as I was. It’s like I never was.”

“That’s...” Fisk trailed off.

“Gadd, that’s awful,” Mit said. “I can’t even imagine what that’s like. I didn’t... I had no idea you were going through that.”

“It’s fine,” Gadd said. “I just... Everything about me, and the world I experienced changed. I didn’t want to talk about it because... I needed _something _to stay the same.”

“So you bolted to her first when you got re-encoded again,” Funnk determined.

“Awwww! That is _so _cute,” Rep cooed. “You two are totally adorable. On some other planets, some species, like, mate for life. I bet that if you were, um, from some other planet, you two totally would.”

“What? No way,” Mit said quickly. “Irkens can’t feel that kind of thing.”

“Oh, someone’s embarrassed,” Fisk teased. “Looks like someone might feel a little something-something.”

“I do not!”

“Oh, she’s blushing!” Funnk exclaimed.

A dark blush had indeed started creeping its way across Mit’s cheeks.

“What can I say? I am completely irresistible. Of course I, Captain Gadd, defy the laws of reality.”

“I don’t have that kind of feeling, you’re all just making fun of me, and it’s flustering!”

“Aw, totally, we believe you.” Rep did a big exaggerated wink.

Mit clapped her hands over her face.

* * *

Gaz woke up on the morning of October 25th, 2002 on the couch, with Alena curled up right beside her. She rubbed the gunk out of her eyes, and the controller that had been in her lap fell to the ground.

The T.V. was turned off, and oh my god the console is in pieces. What happened?

Gaz kicked at Alena, who then woke with a start.

“Did you _destroy _my GameSlave Home Version?” she growled menacingly.

“No, I was improving it,” Alena replied. “I could hear the disc spinning inside from the couch. I’m simply making a few minor adjustments to improve network connectivity, smoother runtime, and game storage.”

“Game storage? What’s wrong with the shelf?”

“It would be more convenient to install the software onto the device itself to prevent destruction of data. So I suppose I meant ‘device memory.’ My mistake. Speaking of which, do you have a personal device I might connect to the console? Humans don’t have PAKs, but it’s unwise not to have backup copies.”

“Oh, uh, yeah, we have a computer,” Gaz answered. This was a very strange situation, but she suddenly stopped feeling indifferent about the alien living in their house with them.

“‘We?’”

“I mean, we have a desktop and a laptop.”

“Just... just one? You don’t have any personal devices?”

“That’s crazy, no. Most people don’t even have more than one computer.”

“_Really? _Your human technology is so primitive! Let me take your wrist measurements. I’ll work on a bracelet for you today.”

“You’ll do what now?”

“I’ll make a bracelet that holds all your game data for you, so that you’ll never lose it or be without it.”

“Just... what, just for free? For no reason?”

“Ha! You think that I would do anything for no reason? I am doing this for two reasons! Reason number one is that I am bored, and reason number two is that you are not Dib.”

Gaz could only stare. As it turned out, Gaz didn’t mind when people talked incessantly so long as they weren’t her brother-- who spoke only about one thing and didn’t let her get a word in edgewise. Not that she ever had anything to say on the subject (since Zim was an idiot and none of his other paranormal things were real), but if ever she _did, _she knew that she would just be talked over.

“Well?” Alena asked.

Was this friendship? Was she friends with this alien? Did her being an alien even really matter? Maybe not. She’d been pretty decent at video games by the end of the night. It would be really cool to have someone to play games with, she had to admit.

“Sure,” she agreed.

“Excellent! Your wrist, please!”

Dib then entered the room, and ruined the mood. The three of them headed off to school, and Gaz left enough room on the sidewalk on the way to the bus stop beside her for Alena. She still sat alone, though, but she explained that Gaz would be too close for it to be safe to work on the bracelet.

When Zim entered the classroom, Alena was still working on the bracelet. She’d gotten most of the welding done on the bus, and she was working on the wiring. After that, just a few minor adjustments, and then she would get to work on the software.

Zim watched her work for a few seconds, before yelling,

“WHAT are you doing?! Explain to Zim!”

“I’m building a data-holding device for the human Gaz,” Alena replied in a normal person’s voice. “You know, most of humanity only has _one _desktop computer in their house. Isn’t that sad?”

“Wait, really?” He blinked. “And you’re... helping advance human technology?”

“No, Gaz introduced me to video games, and I decided to improve it.” She paused. “Okay, when I say it out loud like that, I suppose the answer is yes. Yes, I am helping to advance human technology, but not for that purpose.”

“Then, for what purpose?”

“I am bored over there,” she replied. “Dib has an amazing talent to suck all energy and life from a room.”

“Yes, yes, I know what you mean,” Zim agreed. “Not by simply walking into it, but the moment he opens his mouth, all he spews is-”

“-paranoid gibberish,” Alena finished. “Seriously, the amount of times he’s demanded to tell him all my evil plans is astounding. What does he consider ‘evil’ anyhow?”

“I believe he is referring to an alien trying to take over the Earth.”

“There’s no way that’s real. There’s also no way to tell that if aliens were ever to land on this planet that they would immediately try to destroy it.”

Zim had to stop and check himself then-- Alena understood him so specifically that he’d almost forgotten that they were of different species.

“Right, if aliens even exist,” he scoffed. “I, like every other human wiener baby, do not believe in aliens.”

“So you mean to tell me that in the entirety of the vast universe, you don’t think there is _any _other sentient life out there?” She put the bracelet down. “You really think that humans are the only ones out there? You’re content with that state of loneliness?”

Zim flicked his gaze to the side for a moment, before making eye contact again.

“Yes.”

Alena went quiet for a moment. He’d clearly thought about it-- perhaps not very deeply; it had only been a second-- and _still, _he denied.

“That is _fascinating.” _She leaned forward, pulling her cheeks up in her hands as she did. “Please, tell me everything. I cannot begin to imagine what it might be like to be so set in my ways that I deny the possibility that I might be incorrect.”

“Uhhhh...”

Zim, luckily, was saved by the bell that started class.


	8. The GazWatch, the Question, and the Call

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey uhh! Let me know if you guys care whether or not I draw a title card. I think I'd prefer to just write the fic w/o worrying about the picture, but if you like the art then I'll keep drawing it!!

Gaz, Zim, and Alena sat together at lunch. It was strange for Dib to watch, because Gaz didn’t have her GameSlave open. Instead, she was paying attention to the device Alena was attaching to her wrist. It seemed like Alena’s mouth wouldn’t close, but he knew that she was explaining how to work the device.

Gaz and Zim both responded positively to the bracelet, and even from that distance, Dib could hear him yelling:

“What a fantastic human device!”

Alena offered humble bows to the praise.

It was frustrating how _happy _she seemed. She was trapped on Earth, trapped with _him. _He just couldn’t understand how she could just be sitting there, grinning away-- especially with the most annoying and obnoxious being in the universe, and the most pessimistic girl on the planet Earth. What was worse was that the above mentioned Zim and Gaz were sitting there grinning with her.

How was that possible? And how was it possible that Zim was sitting there laughing with a human? He knew that Alena and Zim had sniffed the other out as a member of their species, but they were both sitting there with Gaz. Zim hated humans.

Was Gaz... also an alien?

No, no, no. He would know if his own sister was an alien. But... he might not know if the super technologically-inclined Alena had built a convincing robot duplicate to wander around during the day while she and Zim performed awful experiments on her.

Dib was pulled out of his thoughts when something hit him in the head. When he looked up, the non-human trio were staring at him.

Zim doubled over laughing. Dib’s face was the funniest thing he’d seen _all day! _The vague look of panic suddenly interrupted by shock, then his eyes flicked downward, confused, before his whole giant head turned to look at them. It was hilarious! Dib’s stupid face was frowning-- aw, his feelings were hurt! Oh, well.

“Hey, not bad,” Gaz said to Alena, lightly punching her in the arm. “I think you killed Zim, too.”

“Oh, please,” she said, “Zim will calm down momentarily. I don’t even really understand what was so comical about what happened-- I was fully expecting you to shoot your human brother with the foam dart as soon as I informed you of that function. If anything, his wheezing is much more entertaining than the act itself.”

Gaz snickered.

“This thing can hold all my games, right?” she asked.

“Oh, of course,” Alena nodded. “As if I could forget the original intended purpose. Here, let me show you...”

When Zim finally calmed down, he noticed something strange. Alena had four fingers, instead of the three he had noticed earlier. Had he miscounted earlier? He couldn’t have. He was Zim-- he was incapable of making any mistake.

“What about you, Zim?” she asked. “Do you want your own GazWatch?”

“Zim needs no GazWatch,” he scoffed.

“Whatever you say,” she shrugged. “Gaz seems to like hers a lot.”

Gaz shot her brother with another dart.

“As entertaining as it would be to shoot Dib with something, I would prefer to do it with something far more... perilous.”

“Yes, yes, I can certainly understand the urge.”

“Hey, how do you reload this thing?” Gaz asked.

“Oh, you simply let it intake some matter, and the device will change the molecular structure to that of a foam dart based on how much matter you have fed it.”

“It does what?” she asked, eyes wide. _“This _little thing can do... _that?!”_

“Human Alena, that is very advanced.” Zim was truly surprised. “You humans have such awful technology... how was this possible for a normal human child to accomplish?”

“Heh! Your human mind could not begin to understand the complexities of my life.”

The bell rang for the students to go back inside. Alena hopped off the bench and sauntered back inside, Dib hot on her trail.

“What are you doing?” he demanded. “What did you strap to my sister’s arm? Some sort of... _alien _gun?”

“I suppose you could say that,” Alena replied. There was still a small smile on her face-- as far as kidnappings went, this was actually pretty fun. “It’s nothing dangerous-- it’s primarily an information-storing device. I designed it to hold her game files, but it does other things, too.”

“Like shoot me?”

“Yes!” Alena beamed. “It truly is one of my best pieces, I think. I usually just make robots. Or, I don’t quite remember, but that is what I feel most comfortable thinking about making. I’m glad I stepped out of my comfort zone. Perhaps I’ll do it again after I finish repairing myself.”

He went quiet for a moment.

“Are you tracking her bio-signature?”

“Her what?”

“You know... the thing that sets her apart from all other humans?”

“I have no interest in biology.” Alena crossed her arms. “My interest is purely mechanical. I don’t care about her human ‘bio-signature’ and I don’t care about you or yours.”

The bell rang again before Dib could say anything else, so he went to sit at his desk.

Zim ran into class a couple of minutes late.

He’d stayed outside for a moment after Alena and Dib ran ahead.

“Wait,” Gaz had called, looking up from her new bracelet.

Zim was standing, and had taken three steps back towards the school. The benches were the farthest bit of equipment from the building. He didn’t turn to face her as he spoke:

“Do not think you have earned my friendship, human Gaz. I could never be friends with a human.”

“That’s not even close to what I wanted to say.”

“Oh.”

“What do you think of Alena?”

That question struck him, and he dignified it with a glance.

“Why do you ask?”

“Does she seem weird to you?”

“Weird in what way?”

“Stop avoiding my questions.”

The playground was empty other than the pair. A gust of wind blew through the air, sending a pair of leaves tumbling awkwardly between them. Zim’s wig was pushed slightly to the side, and he raised a hand to steady it. Gaz stood still. Zim slowly turned, closing his arms over his chest.

“Why does it matter to you what I think of her?” Zim questioned.

Gaz took a step forward, and Zim took one backwards. Despite the good times they’d just had, she’d just gone right back to being terrifying. When she scowled, he felt bile rise in his throat. He swallowed, considering his answer.

“I think... she is a fascinating human,” he answered.

“Human,” Gaz repeated.

“Yes, human.” Zim eyed her curiously. Why had she repeated him? “She is very... gifted. Not as gifted as Zim, clearly, but I think that if there is...” His eyes widened, terrified of the words he was about to say next. “I have said too much!”

Zim rushed back to the school doors, and Gaz let him go. She’d gotten all the information out of him that she needed.

  


“What is it, Cyclo?”

Zap and ESC-X stood in the bushes. Cyclo had called them on the emergency line, and it rang out in Zap’s mind loudly and obnoxiously. When she stopped to hold the top of her head, ESC-X was forced to take her aside and take the call.

Zap was rendered useless when ESC-X answered-- she stood motionless with her mouth hanging open. It was almost strange to see her so still.

“I’ve detected an Irken ship rapidly approahing,” Cyclo answered.

“What? No.” ESC-X’s eyes, still in his human disguise, went wide. “There’s no way they’d come here.”

“They’re on course to visit the planet Nyopya. It’s possible that once they’re this close, they might uncover Master’s plan.”

“That’s impossible!”

“ESC-X, it’s the plan of a child. It wasn’t going to be spectacular.”

“Yes, but it’s a very good plan. No one in the Empire wants-”

“But it is of greatest importance that its Tobes are accounted for. A better plan would have been for her to fake her death and escape.”

“Why didn’t you say this earlier?”

Cyclo sighed. “Look... just find Master as quickly as possible. We can leave Earth’s orbit until the Empire is gone, and then come back later.”

“That defeats the entire purpose of the plan. I’m telling you, the Earth is completely invisible to the Irken Empire. We don’t need to leave. Finding our Master was already of top-priority-- we can’t work any harder.”

“We can discuss what we’ll do after we find our Master, I suppose.” It sighed again, frustrated. “Just ensure that Master has no contact with Zim.”

“Yes, Cyclo.”

Cyclo almost left the call, but suddenly remembered:

“Oh, in order to get into that human house, you should turn the knob.”

“I should do what now?” ESC-X questioned.

“I’ll send the instructions to Zap. You two are idiots. I’d be down there myself if I had a human disguise, since it seems the two of you can’t do anything by yourselves.”


End file.
